Active listening: essential for everyday life

Active listening is a transversal skill and involves paying full attention to the interlocutor, trying to understand the whole message conveyed and encouraging a positive conversation. 

Active listening occurs when the receiver combines a number of verbal and nonverbal elements in the listening process. Statements, paraphrasing, and asking questions are all verbal signs of active listening. Non-verbal cues include smiling, head movement, posture, eye contact and avoiding all distractions.

Active listening skills bring many benefits to our daily lives; in addition to better understanding of messages, research shows that people who succeed in active listening can also communicate more effectively and be quicker at finding strategies. Also, being an active listener shows good character, commitment and is an essential component for the 21st century.

Active listening, in the broadest sense, means paying attention to the speaker and listening to understand, not to respond. 

This also includes full focus on the speaker, with a minimum of distraction, out of respect and intent to learn. In school, an example of active listening would be for a student to wait their turn and consider what their peers have to say before expressing their opinion in a project discussion.

There is four key elements of active listening. All of this helps us make sure we hear the other person and that they know we're listening to what they're saying. 

• Attention is directed to the sender

It is important to give the speaker our full attention. We follow the story or train of ideas, avoid being distracted by other factors, and avoid interruptions. It is also recommended to avoid side conversations.

•  We listen using our whole body

To convey to the sender that we are listening, it is important to use and adapt our body language and gestures. We occasionally nod, smile and maintain eye contact. Body posture should be open and welcoming. 

• Paraphrasing 

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, our role is to understand what is being said. This may require reflecting on what is being said and asking open-ended questions. Reflect on what has been said and, for further clarification, paraphrase, using sentences like "I understand that...", "The situation you went through implies...", etc.

• Asking open questions

Open questions have a clarifying role and demonstrate our desire to understand the topic being discussed. Sometimes an open question is the only way to collect the answers we need. In a situation that requires contextualization, complex description, and explanation, a simple Yes/No or multiple-choice answer will not suffice. For example, when asking someone to explain a decision, open questions bring more clarification.  

It takes a lot of focus and determination to be a better listener. Practicing active listening techniques will help children become better communicators and develop listening skills they will use throughout their lives. There it is here more useful information about active listening. 

*Article written by Veronica Dunga, KEN Academy trainer.

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